Whoever said this proverb can go suck an egg. This is why Hitler lost the war; not because of poor war strategy, pissing off his few allies and the rest of the world, and killing millions of people in beyond-horrific ways. Because the Germans have crappy proverbs. They should talk to the Irish. Irishmen make proverbs about fighting and drinking. MUCH better than rose bushes.
Winter has started off with a phenomenal bang, though the first official day of winter isn’t until December. (Though, I really don’t care what you tell me—when it drops into the thirties at night for at least 7 consecutive days, it’s winter in my book.) I’ll warn you now, this post isn’t much more than a bit of griping, so you might just want to save yourself the effort and wait until next week’s installment. I feel like I’ve expended a lot of energy trying to stay upbeat lately, and I’m just a bit tired of it today.
For me winter is like when you buy a dress at the beginning of spring, and all year long you wear it, each time insisting to your reflection in the mirror that “I look FRIKKIN’. FABULOUS. in this dress” before you walk out the door, and then there comes that moment in December when you look at yourself in that dress for the fiftieth time and finally sigh as you mutter, “If those panty lines were any deeper, I’d need lane markers for them. I know—I’ll just keep my back to the wall so that nobody gets a glimpse of my backside…” That’s what winter’s like for me. That moment of realization that when the light fades outside, it’s a lot harder to hide those things that seem FRIKKIN’. FABULOUS. in the summer months.
Stupid winter. And stupid panty lines.
This week seems to be one in which the universe’s goal is to wrap itself around my face and hump my head just to show its dominance. Lots of failed or incomplete activities that were supposed to be either done or at least mostly done by now with very few accomplishments. So, it’s hard to stay motivated enough to try and finish them. Lately all my inner child wants to do is sit in the road and sulk, “I never wanted to do that thing anyway…” Nice and productive, right?
I think the best remedy for winter is to just go to bed and wait for spring to get here. To that point, I don’t think bears really realize HOW GREAT they have it. Minus that whole grass-and-hair butt plug thing.
Eww, yeah. Minus that part.